On Prayer and Vitamins

Prayer is one of those things that I'm either really good at or really bad at, depending on the week. I was meditating on this and I think the root of my inconsistency stems from bad theology. All of us suffer the consequences of some sort of bad theology creeping into our brains at some point (Paul said that we all know in part.) In my case, the error I had let into my thinking was that prayer was some sort of supplement, an energy shot, a vitamin to boost my spiritual immune system. I don't believe I've purchased a new bottle of multi-vitamins in about 2 years. Why? Because I'm so inconsistent in taking the ones I've already got, that they haven't run out yet! Honestly, I don't really notice an appreciable difference when I fail to take them, and even if there were one, I'm doing alright without them, so the motivation to take them is pretty low. In my immaturity, I've often thought of prayer in a similar fashion: I know it's good for me, but I'm okay without it (or with the limited amount I get of it by hanging around the Church.) I've decided (and the word of God reveals) that this view on prayer is woefully insufficient.

We see plainly from the scriptures that the apostles and the early church as a whole devoted themselves to prayer, consistent, earnest, and intentional prayer. (Acts 1:4; Acts 2:42; Acts 3:1; Acts 4:31; Acts 6:4) But why? Why did men so filled with power, men who walked with Jesus and saw him resurrected need to spend so much time in prayer? Was it because they had so much to do, they needed that extra "supplement" of power and grace? I don't think so. Paul in his letters to the various churches regularly requested prayer. In fact, he pleaded for it. In 1 Thessalonians Paul encouraged the Church to "pray without ceasing". After telling the church at Ephesus of his constant intercession for them, Paul pleads again for their prayers over him.




18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. (Ephesians 6:18-19)



Even Jesus spent many nights toiling in prayer.




In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God. (Luke 6:12 ESV)




I don't think Jesus pulled all nighters for kicks and giggles. I'm pretty sure that when he did so, it was because he needed to. Both Paul, and Jesus had a strong sense of need for the power and work of the Holy Spirit in their lives. This compelled them to devote themselves to prayer. Here's the rub: there is nothing that can be accomplished fully without the mercy, grace, and power of God - nothing. This is where my theology was askew. I thought that prayer, and time with God was supplemental to my life. The reality is that it's the very food and water I need to live. Jesus told the woman at the well to drink of him and never thirst again. He told his apostles that his body was true food and his blood true drink. What if we really viewed time with Jesus as totally indispensable? What if we understood that prayer was powerful and efficacious? (James 5:16.) What if we needed prayer not like a vitamin pill, but like food and water. How many days can you go without eating or drinking? I don't have the ability to fight off the devil, my own flesh, or the world. I just can't do it. I don't have the wisdom, grace, or power to accomplish the things God has set before me except that he gives me that wisdom, grace, and power. And if I'm understanding God rightly, then I know that the Sun only rises for my benefit because he graciously allows it to. Now, I don't have to thank him for it, but when I do, I'm bringing myself into alignment with the reality of his grace. When I lean on him as my only source of strength, then I'm taping into the greatest source of power in all the universe. And when I acknowledge my udder helplessness without him, then cycles of sin, dysfunction, and failure are broken by the power of God. I have to quite fighting in my strength, but cast all my cares on him, and then work diligently in all his energy (1 Peter 5:7; Colossians 1:29), experiencing grace in every area of my life. Then my struggle is just a matter of getting close to God, the source of life. The author of Hebrews spoke of being strengthened by grace, as the ultimate energy source for the human soul.

Do not be led away by diverse and strange teachings, for it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace, not by foods, which have not benefited those devoted to them.

(Hebrews 13:9 ESV)



Grace isn't a passive force, it is given commensurate to our need, expressed to God through prayer, devotion, and worship. Praise be to God that it's available, and waiting for us to pull up to the table and "taste and see that the Lord is good!"



Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

(Hebrews 4:16 ESV)



By His Grace,



Brendan

A Response to Psalm 119

I really felt lead to read the 119 Psalm today. As I read it aloud, the words began to resonate deep within me. I cried out to God, as if David’s words were my own. When I finished, I wrote out my thoughts. The words flowed quickly, and though imperfect, they are a reflection of my experience in the scripture. I hope you enjoy it.

A response to Psalm 119:

God’s commandments are shelter from the storm, and an invitation into his presence. They are life infusing, enemy defeating, grace imparting, words of love and warning. They are safety for the journey, comfort for the oppressed, and hope for the hopeless. They are impossible to master, and easy to obey. They are life, a testament to his love, and a reminder of the cross. They purchase for us nothing – only the blood of Jesus can pay our ransom – still, they keep us close to God, near to El Shaddai. They guard us and guide us, preserve us, and in keeping them remind us that the Spirit’s work is not done on the earth. They are our weapons and they pierce us. They are our crown and they reduce us to nothing. They keep us in right balance, and afford the soul perfect peace. They radiate the love of God, and in them his face is seen clearly. They provoke fear and trembling in the believer, and security to the soul, like a man observing a fierce storm from the shelter of his porch.  They are life and light and love. They are the greatest achievement of a believer, and –understood rightly- they give glory only to God, praise only to his name, credit to his grace alone, and birth compassion in the heart of him that keeps them. They are a light- illuminating both the depravity of a man’s heart and the glories of God’s inexhaustible mercy. God is love, and they that keep his commandments, that follow his precepts, will love deeper, and more honestly than ever before. By them we rejoice in affliction, invite rebuke, and endure trials. We are aware of his goodness, afraid of his holiness, and implicitly trust in his heart. We must wash ourselves daily in his commandments, because our old nature, still fighting for dominance, is wicked, and does not love the law of God. Yet, this daily immersion is a gift unto itself. It is time in communion with the Spirit of God; time with our Father. Teach me to love your laws, oh God. Teach me to yearn for your statutes, to cling to them as unto life, and to love them as a man loves his wife. Your word is true, your precepts are just, and your law leads me through death into new life.

~Brendan Smith

Some good news

My doctor looked at the most recent X-rays of my mouth (taken in 2006) and he pointed out the ameloblastoma was already present. This is good, in that we now know that it didn't spring up in matter of months. We're still preceding quickly, however, this takes a little bit of the pressure off, since my symptoms didn't show up until 3 months before the surgery - he previously feared that it grew that quickly. The surgeon sent my info off to Gainesville and they should be calling me in the coming days. I'll let you know what comes of that.

~Brendan

Update on my health - April 12th

I owe a HUGE debt of gratitude to Pamela Stergios and Jesse Wolf who together mastermind to raise funds to help me cover the massive cost of all my surgeries. They asked if they could send people here, so I figured I'd update you on my health from here, too.


It looks like I'll be heading to Shands hospital at UF (Gainesville, FL). The surgeon in Miami wouldn't take me without insurance, so we're going with GREAT option number two. My doctor is working on a referral now. I believe the plan will involve taking out my entire left side of the lower jaw and replacing it with bone from my hip. Later there will be skin grafts, implants, etc.. This is my best chance to beat this thing and never see it again. As it stands, I'm looking at about a year of surgery, hospitals, recovery, etc...to quote the doctor, "until you're starting to get happy again..." Well, I'm happy now, and don't intend to change anytime soon, thank you very much! I can't believe how many of you have donated in response to Pam and Jesse's request already, thank you for that. I'm working hard trying to find programs and whatnot to help offset some of the costs, but they are already mounting, and will certainly continue to do so, even if I get all the help that's available. Please continue to pray. I covet your prayers. God is faithful, and I know keep me, by his sufficient grace. I love you all. 


~Brendan

Update on my health - from March 24

This was a note that I posted on facebook a couple of weeks ago when I got the diagnosis. Since my good friends Pam and Jesse are sending people here, I thought I'd repost it for reference. 


I went to my surgeon today and found out that the biopsy came back as a Basal Cell Ameloblastoma. Basically, an aggressive tumor.It comes from cells that form teeth going awry and usually lays dormant until your late 20's or early 30's. It is very aggressive and if unchecked will destroy anything in its path as it rapidly spreads. So my doctor said there are no options, since it is often fatal when aggressive surgical measures aren't taken. In the initial surgery, they took it all away. However, there is an 95% chance it'll come back if we do nothing else, and if it comes back, it's always much worse (around a 30% mortality rate with recurrence). The solution is more surgery. The protocol calls for another centimeter and a half of bone or whatever to be cut out around where the cyst was (already over 5 cm). They will cut through my face, and there are lots of complications as it's a huge area they're removing, honestly I don't totally understand all of the implications, yet. I have to see a surgeon in Miami, who is the worlds best at this type of surgery. My surgeon said he'd fly from Africa to be seen by this guy if he were in my shoes, and I trust him. Of course, I don't have insurance, and so I'm really having to trust God to provide and hope the surgeon still takes me without it, as I am likely uninsureable at this point (as far as I know). I don't know how long I'll be out of commission, how many surgeries it'll take (skin grafts, reconstruction, etc...), or how much pain will be associated with it and for how long. I'm told that if the surgery goes well, my chances of beating this thing go up to 95%. I have another appointment on Wed. to talk with the Doctor more, and I'll be doing some research in the meantime. Thanks to everyone for their prayers. We serve a mighty God, who loves each of us beyond anything we could imagine, and knows all of our days from the first to the last. I'm reminded of Romans 8:

Romans 8:20-25

20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

I know I have some pain coming, but all of it is "as in the pains of childbirth" and will lead to my ever increasing joy in Jesus. Every day I wake up to the goodness of God and this is a greater reality than any physical difficulties.

Whatever the process, I know that God is with me. Again, thank you for your prayers; I covet them. I look forward to seeing the other side of this and moving on. To God be the glory.

~Brendan

A few of my favorite coffee varieties

I really like coffee and people always ask me about my favorite varieties and countries of origin. Here are a few off the top of my head. My favorite coffees are West African varieties. I love a good Rwanda Buremera. I'm also a fan of Ethiopian coffees, particularly a nice tan Harrar, or the ever popular Yirgacheffe, A good Indian Malabar is also an excellent choice. As far as the Americas go, a nice Brazil can be very pleasing if roasted lightly. I also tried a Mexican Peaberry last year that was amazing (and I'm not usually a fan of Mexican coffee). I also enjoy Central American offerings such as a chocolaty Nicaraguan or a subtle Guatemalan coffee. My heart will always be with Africa, though. Does anyone else have a favorite they'd like to share?

Chet Baker

Well, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to write here. I suppose it should be something interesting. Since I’m the music guy here at N.C.F. I’ll start with that. It’s 5 a.m. and I’m awake with pain from my surgery last week. Pain really makes you appreciate it’s absence. You start to notice moments of relief or rest and appreciate them more. Anyone who knows my taste in music, knows I like jazz. Right now, I’m listening to Chet Baker. Chet was a trumpeter from the 1950’s. He was on the cusp of the “cool” jazz movement, and he was cool! His recording of “My Funny Valentine” with Gerry Mulligan (1952) is considered one of the best versions of that standard ever recorded. Chet also sang. O! Did he sing. He had one of those melt the skin off a rhinoceros voices that had all the tonal resonance and control of his other instrument. Yet, he was often criticized by jazz “purists” of his day for his singing. Apparently, it wasn’t cool to sing. Well, I’ll let you draw the parallelisms here, but I for one am glad that he didn’t listen! Enjoy.